Alice’s Story
After a big move to Tauranga, Alice initially resisted joining Project K. Embracing the challenge, she connected with nature and worked with her mentor to set and achieve goals. Now, Alice is pursuing her dream of becoming a heavy diesel mechanic, feeling motivated and proud of her journey.
Me and my family we’re living in Christchurch, until one day my dad found a really good job in Tauranga so my dad moved while me and mum stayed in Christchurch so dad could have time to find a house. Finally after 8 months apart we found a house, made a plan, then we moved up. It was a big move, I’ve never been out of the South Island so it was pretty scary to think about moving to a whole new island technically and having to start at a new intermediate school and make new friends. In all honesty the first two weeks at my new school I barely spoke, the words just wouldn’t come out of my mouth. It was like I couldn’t function, I was so nervous, and then after the first two weeks had passed by it started to get a bit easier, but I still had a lot of anxiety when going into college because it was such a big school and it felt way too overwhelming.
Before I had even heard about Project K I was in such a dark place, I was so unmotivated not wanting to go to school and do work because I couldn’t seem to calm down my nerves and bring myself back up again. I was always refusing help from my peers and teachers because I was too scared to accept help. I was in the wrong crowd of people doing all of the things I said that I’d never do all just to fit in making up all of these stories just to make myself seem “cooler” to all these people and to feel like I fitted in with them. In reality, I felt like i was an outcast not being able to fit in with anyone, feeling so different to others because of how they portrayed themselves was so different to how I did. I felt as if no one would ever understand me, I was so shy because of this, I felt as if I was trapped in my own shell and there was no way out because I was sinking deeper and deeper. I would just sit in the corner with my own thoughts trapped inside my own head overthinking everything possible and I just never really talked to anyone who I didn’t know. This caused a lot of anxiety when being around people I wasn’t familiar with and being in crowded public places.
When I found out about Project K I was hoping that I didn’t get picked because it was so out of my comfort zone. I ended up getting picked to go and I honestly had no idea what it was. I thought it was just another programme that school makes you do. My parents really wanted me to go and I refused to go but no matter how much i refused I was still going to go. I hated the first couple of days but after coming out of my shell a bit more I started to enjoy it. I never knew I would actually enjoy doing the hikes but I loved it so much even though it was painful it was definitely worth at the end. I loved seeing all of the different things nature has created, I really started to connect with myself and getting to know who I am as a person, I finally started to accept myself for who I am. The day I accepted who I was, I decided I wanted to change for the better and to pick myself up again.
There were a few challenges I have met and overcome. For example, learning how to remove myself from situations that aren’t going to benefit me in the long run. For example, stopping those bad habits of using weed to make me feel better for a couple of hour. Stopping has helped me realise that there is so much more to life and so much more to live for and that there’s so much more I can accomplish when I’m not intoxicated. Another challenge I have met would be learning how to remove myself from the people who would influence it and make you feel as if you had to smoke to fit in, removing myself from all of this has also really helped me a lot on finding myself and my happiness.
Being involved with Project K has helped me a lot. I finally started to connect with myself and get to know who I am as a person. I finally started to accept myself for who I am, to be proud of who I am, and it doesn’t matter if I’m different to others. I don’t need to do what they are doing to fit in, and in all honesty, you’re going to be a lot happier being yourself rather than being someone you’re not. The day I accepted myself, I decided I wanted to change for the better. It was also the same day I had my first spiritual awakening. I started to connect to my spiritual side more being able to disconnect from the world and be out in nature and able to take it all in.
The programme has helped me make a plan for my future and where I would like to end up in life. I have been able to improve my mental health with having my mentor to talk to about what’s going on in my life and being able to ask my mentor Adi for help when I’ve needed it. Having a mentor has also helped with setting goals in place and focusing on achieving them. One of my goals was to leave school and go to a course to help with passing my NCEA Level 1 and 2. This one was a big one for me because it meant moving to an environment where I knew no one. By achieving this goal, it has made me become more independent and given me more motivation to do things that are out of my comfort zone, and I have also been able to focus on my wellbeing and gaining more confidence to do things on my own. I have now finally achieved this goal. It was difficult at first but it got easier each day. I am now looking at heavy diesel courses to become a heavy diesel mechanic in the future!
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